How can I get control back in my relationship?

I have been dating my boyfriend for 8 months. He is incredibly insecure - everytime I get a new facebook friend that is a guy he questions me constantly. He questions me on my past, he is jealous of me speaking to other guys and does not even want me to touch another guys arm. While I can do all of these things...what I cannot deal with is when he tries to hurt me by his actions. We broke up last week because I could not handle his obsessiveness and did not go to see him two hours away - where he lives. Well it backfired - and to hurt me he called a girl he use to date to give him a ride home after he went out drinking. This hurt me so bad...he is incredibly honest and I know nothing happened but the fact that he is trying to control and hurt me is depressing. We were together last weekend and everything got back to being great. we both told eachother what we needed and he and i both agreed we could do that. Now today he obsessed about a couple guys that added me to facebook and then becuase i wasent ansering - i was at work - he said fine...i will message back to Mya. This girl who is NOT attractive but who is sensible with money and comes from money. Something he critisizes me for not having. I am not ready to break up with him....I just really want some sanity and feel good back for myself. What should I do? I know i shouldnt react but what should i do when he gets so crazy?